digitallyimpaired:

ihopericksantorum:

I puked on the pizza

omg

I’m crazy…and I’m right

Posted on Monday, April 23 2012, 2 years ago
with 18,366 notes   †   Reblog this post
#the best#omg#social commentary#kinda?
reeses-and-redbull:

nyneko:

renm:

bemusedlybespectacled:

lestradisms:

pheonee:

equalseleventhirds:

the-deviations:

firegrowshigher:
Man, let’s say you’re at a party, yeah?  And there are people at the party that prefer cake, and people at the party who prefer pie, so the host serves both.  Alright, cool.
So you go in for a slice of pie, when suddenly the host CHARGES over and goes “WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”
“I’m having some pie, man, chill.”
“What the hell?  I thought you had cake last time.”
“Yeah, I did have cake last time.  But I’m not feeling the cake tonight.  And this is my favorite kind of pie.”
“Ohhh no.  I thought you were a CAKE person and now all of a sudden you’re eating pie on me?  You’re confusing me!  Make up your mind!”
“What’s the big deal, even?  There’s plenty of both for everyone.”
“YOU CAN’T LIKE BOTH CAKE AND PIE.  YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE.”
But man, fuck that guy, I’m going to have the pie anyway, who cares if I had cake last week.  
And then if that pie is so good that I never want any other dessert for the rest of my life, that doesn’t mean I suddenly never liked that cake that I ate.
Actually this metaphor is kind of dumb.  I guess I should just leave it at “fuck you.”

No, it’s sweet. In fact, it’s a lovely springboard for the rest of the sexualities. For instance, asexuality:
You’re enjoying the party - the music, the conversation - but you just don’t feel like eating cake or pie.
Suddenly, the host charges over with some cake he’s sure you’ll love. He knows this cake. It’s not too rich and not too dry. You politely refuse.
The party keeps going until the host comes back with a slice of pie, practically shoving it in your hands. You try to refuse again.
“Oh come on, what do you want?”
“Nothing, I’m fine.”
“Are you on a diet?”
“No, I just don’t eat pie. Or cake.”
“…you had a bad experience with dessert, didn’t you?”
“Excuse me?”
“Forgive me if I’m getting too personal, but it had to be something traumatic. Did someone spike a baked good of whatever construction with a laxative?”
“Fuck no. I just have no desire to eat dessert. I’m sure your pies, cakes, muffins, cookies, waffles, wafers, Nutella sandwiches, what have you…I’m sure they are all lovely. Please, serve them to any and all who would consume them. I’m not one of them. Is that really so hard to comprehend?”
“…you just haven’t found the right one.”

I sort of really love dessert metaphors for sexuality because some of the things people say about sexuality are so ridiculous, but people really only notice them with the metaphors.
Also I love them because I like food and I’m going to eat some dessert now.

the metaphor may begin to break down around demisexuality but what if you’re not really into the whole “eating desserts” thing, in general; like, maybe sweets just ain’t your thing! But your significant other always makes special desserts just for you and they put a lot of effort into them and so of course you eat them and they’re—well, they’re really nice, and so from then on you just really like the desserts they make, but if you go out to a party and they just have random desserts chillaxing you’re always like “eh” “nah” “doesn’t look too appetizing” “[SO] didn’t make ‘em they’re probs not that gr8”
and with pansexuality is like if you like cakes AND pies AND puddings and—just, all desserts, as long as they taste good! Trifles? Yes! Cookies? Yes! Fruit salad? Yes! Ice cream? Yes! But then people are just like “what there are only pies or cakes to choose from WHAT ARE THESE OTHER DESSERTS YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT I DON’T UNDERSTAND U”

#SOME PEOPLE LIKE VANILLA ICE CREAM #SOME PEOPLE LIKE CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM #SOME LIKE BOTH #SOME NEITHER #SOME ARE FANS OF ALL THE ICE CREAM FLAVOURS #SOME ONLY LIKE ICE CREAM ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS #SOME LIKE ICE CREAM WELL ENOUGH BUT DON’T OFTEN GO OUT AND BUY IT #SOME PEOPLE EAT HEAPS OF ICE CREAM OF ALL DIFFERENT BRANDS AND SOME PEOPLE EAT VERY RARELY BUT ALWAYS AT THE SAME STORE #SOMETIMES A PERSON WHO LIKES VANILLA ICE CREAM WILL TRY A PARTICULAR STORE’S CHOCOLATE AND REALLY LIKE IT #SOMETIMES A PERSON WILL FALL SO IN LOVE WITH A CERTAIN STORE’S MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP THEY JUST EAT NOTHING BUT THAT FOR AGES #IT’S OKAY #FUQ OFF

BLESS THIS POST

I highly enjoy this analogy, and cake. I think I shall go find some cake.



“…you had a bad experience with dessert, didn’t you?”
omg<3

reeses-and-redbull:

nyneko:

renm:

bemusedlybespectacled:

lestradisms:

pheonee:

equalseleventhirds:

the-deviations:

firegrowshigher:

Man, let’s say you’re at a party, yeah?  And there are people at the party that prefer cake, and people at the party who prefer pie, so the host serves both.  Alright, cool.

So you go in for a slice of pie, when suddenly the host CHARGES over and goes “WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

“I’m having some pie, man, chill.”

“What the hell?  I thought you had cake last time.”

“Yeah, I did have cake last time.  But I’m not feeling the cake tonight.  And this is my favorite kind of pie.”

“Ohhh no.  I thought you were a CAKE person and now all of a sudden you’re eating pie on me?  You’re confusing me!  Make up your mind!”

“What’s the big deal, even?  There’s plenty of both for everyone.”

“YOU CAN’T LIKE BOTH CAKE AND PIE.  YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE.”

But man, fuck that guy, I’m going to have the pie anyway, who cares if I had cake last week.  

And then if that pie is so good that I never want any other dessert for the rest of my life, that doesn’t mean I suddenly never liked that cake that I ate.

Actually this metaphor is kind of dumb.  I guess I should just leave it at “fuck you.”

No, it’s sweet. In fact, it’s a lovely springboard for the rest of the sexualities. For instance, asexuality:

You’re enjoying the party - the music, the conversation - but you just don’t feel like eating cake or pie.

Suddenly, the host charges over with some cake he’s sure you’ll love. He knows this cake. It’s not too rich and not too dry. You politely refuse.

The party keeps going until the host comes back with a slice of pie, practically shoving it in your hands. You try to refuse again.

“Oh come on, what do you want?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Are you on a diet?”

“No, I just don’t eat pie. Or cake.”

“…you had a bad experience with dessert, didn’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Forgive me if I’m getting too personal, but it had to be something traumatic. Did someone spike a baked good of whatever construction with a laxative?”

“Fuck no. I just have no desire to eat dessert. I’m sure your pies, cakes, muffins, cookies, waffles, wafers, Nutella sandwiches, what have you…I’m sure they are all lovely. Please, serve them to any and all who would consume them. I’m not one of them. Is that really so hard to comprehend?”

“…you just haven’t found the right one.”

I sort of really love dessert metaphors for sexuality because some of the things people say about sexuality are so ridiculous, but people really only notice them with the metaphors.

Also I love them because I like food and I’m going to eat some dessert now.

the metaphor may begin to break down around demisexuality but what if you’re not really into the whole “eating desserts” thing, in general; like, maybe sweets just ain’t your thing! But your significant other always makes special desserts just for you and they put a lot of effort into them and so of course you eat them and they’re—well, they’re really nice, and so from then on you just really like the desserts they make, but if you go out to a party and they just have random desserts chillaxing you’re always like “eh” “nah” “doesn’t look too appetizing” “[SO] didn’t make ‘em they’re probs not that gr8”

and with pansexuality is like if you like cakes AND pies AND puddings and—just, all desserts, as long as they taste good! Trifles? Yes! Cookies? Yes! Fruit salad? Yes! Ice cream? Yes! But then people are just like “what there are only pies or cakes to choose from WHAT ARE THESE OTHER DESSERTS YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT I DON’T UNDERSTAND U”

#SOME PEOPLE LIKE VANILLA ICE CREAM #SOME PEOPLE LIKE CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM #SOME LIKE BOTH #SOME NEITHER #SOME ARE FANS OF ALL THE ICE CREAM FLAVOURS #SOME ONLY LIKE ICE CREAM ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS #SOME LIKE ICE CREAM WELL ENOUGH BUT DON’T OFTEN GO OUT AND BUY IT #SOME PEOPLE EAT HEAPS OF ICE CREAM OF ALL DIFFERENT BRANDS AND SOME PEOPLE EAT VERY RARELY BUT ALWAYS AT THE SAME STORE #SOMETIMES A PERSON WHO LIKES VANILLA ICE CREAM WILL TRY A PARTICULAR STORE’S CHOCOLATE AND REALLY LIKE IT #SOMETIMES A PERSON WILL FALL SO IN LOVE WITH A CERTAIN STORE’S MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP THEY JUST EAT NOTHING BUT THAT FOR AGES #IT’S OKAY #FUQ OFF

BLESS THIS POST

I highly enjoy this analogy, and cake. I think I shall go find some cake.

“…you had a bad experience with dessert, didn’t you?”

omg<3

Posted on Wednesday, April 04 2012, 2 years ago
with 72,680 notes   †   Reblog this post
#bless this post#sexuality#social commentary
❝Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it’s all a male fantasy: that you’re strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren’t catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you’re unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.❞

- Margaret Atwood, The Robber Bride (via monkeyknifefight)

Posted on Wednesday, March 21 2012, 2 years ago
with 21,851 notes   †   Reblog this post
#social commentary#male fantasy